Letting go...

I've heard the saying before...though i've never given in much serious thought. "By truely letting go, you shall find happiness." Often, we find and create our own misery. We dig our own bottomless pit and we throw ourselves into it. Then we helplessly wail for help, frantically yelling and reaching out for the invisible hands...hoping someone would come rescue us. There won't be any; even if there are...these hands would not be able to drag us out of the pit. The strength of a thousand won't do. We are authors of our own demise.

To think further back, not so long ago i was feeling frustrated over work. Too much to do at work, too little personal time. I kept complaining...and i wasn't happy. Then one day i told my boss frankly, I'm not willing anymore. She asked me why. And she gave me a typical piece of asian mentality "Why?, you are at your prime. Early 30s. No family. It's the best time to strive for your career". And i went "Wow.", in my mind. I bet most people would think that too. But I dont buy that piece. Career or not. Your life is your define. Though this may be applied on everyone, it does not have to be mine. I'm not trying to go against the world...but i'm just trying to live a life, where i define my own 'happiness'...not what others tell me happiness should be. I'm not gonna fool myself to think that i'll be happy too if i follow what everybody else is doing. Anyway, from then on...i got lesser to do. I just need to spend my committed time in office and be worry free after(Ok, not entirely...but at least, its alot better than before). I might have condemned myself and my future here, but if this is what an organization sees in its employee, this won't be the future that i would like to have either. An organization that 'feeds' on the extra hours of its employee to acknowledge them on their work is not an ideal place that i would spend the rest of my working life at. They like to use the word PASSION, i say its ABUSE.

A friend was asking me yesterday, why do i feel all good of a sudden. He too was having some issues and he wants to know how to get out of it. I couldn't give him an answer then. I guess it all just happend. Like a clear mind after a long flu. Infections are gone...and so has the cloud in the coffee.