It is coming...

It could have been just another quiet nite, after coming home from my french class, feeling much more tired than usual...and spending some quiet time chatting with bbfren over msn...just right past midnite, a voucher came in...

10 minutes later, another email came in...which got my heart rate up by some...

Damnnn im so gonna glue myself on my seat tomorrow by 1:50pm!

A new cover for an old book

After having a blast on the volunteer event last weekend, i got this piercing pain in my back when i woke up on wednesday. From that day onwards, everytime i sat for longer than 10mins...when i stood up, i get this numbing pain at my lower back which sometimes require me to wait for a good 10secs or so before i can start walking again. So much for being able to blend into with the 20something last weekend...and barely even a week after, my old bones are already singing the tunes of the opposite.

Though i was feeling rather out of place for the first half of the first night, the volunteers were mostly uni students or old aunties or those that just started working and still doing their probation with their first job. Towards the second half of the night and thereafter...the feeling was no longer there, and in its place i felt a new thrill...something which felt good. I was pretty much reassured later, when they awarded me one of their  'best volunteer' title, yah! they actually had that award...i didnt even know till the end of 2nd night when they gave out a small token of appreciation to those they thought had did a great job ushering the crowd, giving out fans and booklets and giving out friendly information etc. This felt almost as good as a promotion at work :P I know....this may sound a lil lame, but still...it was a good feeling.

Today, though if given a choice, i would have stayed home and try to get some rest that was suppose to be long due...i had to drag myself out of the house again at 10 in the morning. The weather was fine, despite the warning from the met department saying they predict thunderstorms over the weekend (not that i ever listen to them, but just i suppose these people are just paranoid now after the recent floods). I went out to fulfill a commitment i made 2 weeks ago; my rock climbing certification. After enduring 6 gruesome hours of classroom and practical lessons, AND a soon-to-turn blue-black index finger...AND an even more painful back...AND having a pair of hands which does not feel to be mine anymore....i got another plastic card!

Cultivated Culture

The sky's rather gloom this morning, with the drizzling rain this morning...i'm praying for a much more finer weather tonite. This is the night of the festival, an event which i have volunteered for many moons ago. I'm recovering from my cough, hopefully by the time i finish these antibiotics(tomorrow) things would look and feel much better. For tonight and tomorrow, I will have to endure another 7 hours of work from 7pm-2am. Having seen some event previews last night, something within me felt secured...i was still feeling uncertain while waiting at the hall before the briefing last night. As the crowd of volunteers began to gather for the briefing, i noticed a pattern...a pattern that made me feel as if i might have made the wrong decision volunteering for such event. A slight fear. I can count the number of working professionals among the crowd. Most of them are students, teens and some retirees. Though towards a much later time, a few did arrive after work...at least i dont feel that much of an outcast anymore. Perhaps i might feel alot better tonight, since i'm in casual today...and hopefully like bbfren says, i would be able to blend in.

Singapore Night Festival 2010

The feeling of nakedness

Sometimes, i say things...and sometimes, for very rare occasions...i say even more things that i end up regretting or thinking i've said alot more than i should (what am i talking about?). Perhaps everyone in this world should learn how to conceal at least some fraction of their feelings instead of having to stand naked in front of people, parading away your ugly assets. Or perhaps everyone else already did, just...i have yet to learn. I have just imparted a small piece of my true self to a friend; a friend which i do not even know if would appreciate it or take it as some hot air venting out of an old air condition shaft-not a decent feeling.

Not so long ago, i told someone about expectations. Expectation is something that can kill you. Today, it didn't almost kill me...but at least, it has cut a wound inside me. All this while, i have been telling people about my upcoming volunteer work and people have been very encouraging...supportive and willing to go all out to support the event. Deep down inside, i know some are just doing so out of courtesy...and even deeper down inside...i know some are genuine. But just when you thought the genuine ones are the true friends closer to your heart, you may be surprised to find that...they might be the courteous ones after all. Thats when it hits you, are your true/close friends really so? Or are you just living in your own world that you regard them as they are but in fact, to them...you are just another normal friend? This part; where expectation meets reality; when it collides...someone is bound to get hurt...and usually, it will be the one who's holding the expectation card. Why do i always get caught holding such cards? Maybe it's time i quit playing, i've lost quite a few good hands already.

Abusing decency

Sometimes i wonder if it's me or it's just the people i know. If 'mean' is a word you use to describe someone who speaks what they think, what do you call those that have the same thought but just couldn't bring themselves to be true to the people? And instead of facing it they'll try all their might to avoid another confrontation. While I was being easily labelled/and called by those very same people as a 'meanie', the rest of them would still be living in a joyful make-believe world where the people they are uncomfortable with still doesn't know they have been branded. Have our decency knows no border? Do we just blindly give it out at all times and for all occasions? How far can we go breaking ourselves in order to just be 'nice'?

The non-updates

Alot has happen within the two weeks of my non-update.

Most glaring of all, was my feeling over a friend...i was rather upset for a while by how a close friend treated me when he was short on cash. I guess when we're a lil tight in the wallet, we tend to be tight around the neck too...in this case, its the necks of your friends that we are trying on. Some people might have reacted differently given the situation but i guess when we are facing issues...each of us have our own ways of handling them. Some may have done so in a self sustaining way, some...will play it on others and push most of the frustration on; in this case...will always be one of your closer friends. Perhaps to think in a better perspective, it is because of my friendship with this person; if it hasn't been good, he wouldn't have dared to conduct such an act on me. Oh well...i guess life goes on...

Now, apart from having to vent further on the earlier point(i think i have vented enough already)...life hasn't been that bad. E2 starts today. I have moved from doing the same SOLO mundane moves in Wingchun to sparring with a partner now. I think I'm progressing pretty well. I should show those people who thought its a joke that i'm taking WingChun classes. Pffftttt....

Last Saturday's Annual D&D was a blast...despite me having a sore gum and wasn't able to eat much at dinner...and not to mention another year without any luck on the draws (sighs!). A sony laptop, a trip for 2 to shanghai...and not even a 1000$ shopping voucher :( . What was the blast then? I would have thought i may have to escort some aunty home right after dinner, but turned out...me, the aunty and a quite a number of the hot-heads went on to a club right after dinner. 70 floors above. It was no heaven; quite the contrary...there we commited sins. I haven't stayed that long in a club for ages (though i still think the DJ sucks)...it was not till the lights were all on that we realized its time to go home and get some sleep. The next day, i woke up with half my face swollen and a sore butt. And i had to take a day off on Monday. Maybe its time to consider retirement.

Then i have my Night Festival event coming 2 weeks from now. I'm already getting slightly spirited about it. Hopefully its gonna be something fun. This Saturday I'm gonna help Kev shift his place, im just hoping i dont have to sit at the back of a lorry; but then again...it might be a good experience, such thing dont come often anyway...and i have got that 5 clicks Race Against Cancer run on Sunday morning. These days, 5km is like 'eating vege'. I may sound a lil arrogant but hey...if its vege...its vege ok! Robot is expecting me to think of a good b'fast place...obviously to him, the 5km is really nothing to worry about...the b'fast venue would be a bigger headache in this case. I should start getting to know my area more, after all the race is just around where i live...wouldn't wanna end up proposing something like McBreakfast...its gonna look bad.

Ohhh...and last friday, we met up with this friend of ours...one who we haven't seen for a fair bit of time. She came marching with the new soulmate. Not that we have seen any ex(s) before, but then...knowing this girl...i guess she's all contented with what she has now. After all, its her 'ambition' to get married someday. If you're reading this, yes...i'm talking about u! :P But frankly, we are all very happy for you =) really!!!

An achievement...of sort.

It was not too long ago that i bragged about how i'm occupying my Tuesday nights now. Today marks the end of my E1 French. As one of my classmate quotes "It is sad but yet a relief". Coming from someone who had to drag her very soul to class every Tues. I couldn't find any better word for her than a 'relief' indeed. Though i doubt she would miss using the language much, but i guess this is not something which you will find in everyone.

I'm moving on to my E2 next week. My new found ability makes me hunger for more. I'm seeing myself reading more and more; trying to figure out the speech pattern or even try to construct new lines for everyday use. It is tiring, yet enjoyable. Something which i hope i can keep up for a fair bit more.

Ohhh and tonite, there's more! Time to have some fun with my newly downloaded iOS4! Hopefully i dont break this thing till i get my new replacement =)