The Caged Bird

The Caged Bird Chronicle - The venting machine

Recently, i have gotten fond of reading contemporary stuff. The caged bird recommended Em one of his books. 
I got a glimpse of it and decided to google the name. 16 pages of preview read from Amazon later, turns out i had to agree the japanese author wasn't really that bad after all. 
Contemporary reads can be a killer sometimes. Some author would express things very well at the beginning but somewhere in middle, they would run out of air and go flat all the way to the end. 
The dreadful feeling of having to go through the rest of the books in such a manner...i'd usually give up after half. 
Whenever i look back at those books i'm not able to finish, a sense of regret would washed over me. 
It is not a feeling i enjoy having. Anyway, after lunch yesterday i got my new book-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle...recommended by its caged brethen. How ironic.

Today, we sat down for tea after lunch. T was a lil reluctant at first when our chain-bound friend asked to sit down for tea right after lunch but he obliged anyway, just like how he usually is.
Friend got his tea, and both me and T got barlie instead. Lighter on the stomach and they come in a ready to go plastic cups; in case we need to bail before we can even finish. 
Who would have thought the conversation that followed almost brought us to the bottom of our cups when we're done. Friend was puffing hot air again, this time again, about his rental and how he finds it difficult to rent out his room.
Paying much of his payroll to rental is not something anyone would be happy about. He was again venting off his frustration. Sometimes i wonder, could it be that you only feel frustrated after 2 years of relationship?
Whatever happen to happy ever after? Someone once said i grew up watching too much fairy tale...but if love is not based on fairytales, what else can it be based on?
If you have to apply logic and reasoning to love, do you still call it love? The world is a place full of objectives. Everything that we do, we must justify, quantify and reason.


The Caged Bird Chronicle - The high speed train

The tea sessions are becoming of a routine now. Everyday, well...almost everyday after lunch if we have too much left on the minute hand, we would go sit down by one of the local tea house and have a cuppa and talk about whats bothering us in life. The caged bird, being new to our society has been feeding us with inside news of life within the cage. A life whose previously was unknown to most of us. 

The cage has been exported out of the country over the weekend due to work where she would remain for another week or two. The bird is set free for now, and has been doing alot of chirping outside some estranged trees since the last weekend. I suppose this would go on for another week, or at least till he's back in the cage again. Frankly, i think i'm beginning to 'enjoy' these after lunch sessions that we are having. Perhaps i've grown curious of our newly acquired friend, maybe his shroud of mystery will die out once i've seen through the mists of his clouded life. I'm still not quite sure which would that be, but for now...i'm letting my curiousity drive.

I dont remember exactly if it is out of abruptness that he brought up the topic or perhaps we were even talking along those lines. Anyway, that is of least importance. What is; is the fact that he told us he would get married if it is what makes the other half happy. He is in no means or at least having any feel or rush of tying the knot...but if it is what makes the relationship tick, he will do it - i have to quote the precise words, "If it makes her happy, I will be happy too. If getting married makes her happy, i dont mind doing it". Both myself and T looked at each other for like more than a brief sec, knowing not what to say at first. Then our eyes made a solemn pack and we silently gave up on our friend. Maybe he fell into the rabbit hole when he was growing up. He is in Lala land; a place where the genie plays the harp and grants you wishes and cinderalla still wears her polished glass slippers, happily singing lullabies with her fairy godmother waiting to be engaged to prince charming. Sometimes i thought i could be the only one on earth with all these little 'perfect' relationships in my head-which will probably not come true, but today...i feel so dwarfed over by this guy. The wheels of the train is already in motion, the wedding plan has been set off...there's no turning back but to press on and hope for the best. Or he can jump out of the window now and get all bloody or die, which would be foolish. In this world of over 6 billion people; there are generally 2 types of us...one who get married for the love and company. The other, who get married first then prayed that they would gain the effects after. And there are usually two outcomes; either they pulled through alright and live a full, contented life...or they fail miserably, dragging their days till the end and pray that in the next; they might get luckier. There might be a 3rd outcome where you can sever any knots and start off fresh again, but then again who are we to fool? We would eventually fall into the cycle again.

Somewhere in between

It's Wednesday. Mid of the week always seem the longest. The dreadful feeling of having to endure another 3 days till the weekend, the joy of already completed half of the weekdays; its a mixed bag of feeling. Confused yet happy. Uncertain yet full of anticipation. 

I woke up this morning feeling a lil lethargic. I have not get my well deserved rest lately. I wouldn't say its work again. The fact that i have so easily blamed everything on my past job makes me wanna do it again. But even this time i couldnt bring myself to such a lie. I have gotten active on WoW again, and with life kicking in at its never-seen-before force; Wing Chun on Mondays, French on Tuesdays, Gym on Wednesdays and Fridays; i barely have enough time for anything else. And if i pack my weekends with outings, movies and casual dinings; I can be pretty sure the following week, i would have accumulated another bag of puff under my eyes and a set of heavier bones to be dragged across the next week. The tardiness would be doubled by then. I need to work out a balance.

Sel has been gone for more than 2months now, talking to her recently, listening to her new developments and recent changes in life. At times, i admire her courage, her spirit and her determination. Having the guts to throw everything that you ever owned and cared, flew across the pacific; braving the foreign weather looking for a new shelter. One which even for my standard, find hard to achieve. I dont think i would ever whip out such courage. Although the idea would seem tempting at times but certain things would always be just a good-to-have thought. One which perhaps one day when you wake up from your bed and you have a feeling so strong, it suddenly becomes something achievable. But until that day, I'll lock that thought at the back of my head.

A caged bird

I cant say i've seen alot of bad (or good) romances in life, but i guess having enough people around you...sharing their stories about life and all; opens up alot of possibilities to the theme.

NGF has joined our inner circle only recently. At first, i have to admit i was feeling rather reserved towards him. He's making his advancement in the ranks within circle way too fast. And when someone is always too eager to please, i have to cast my biggest doubts on them. Anyway, that should be an entirely different chapter for some unprecedented time.

For once, i felt sorry for him last night. It's our first French class, he looked completely washed-out after. Apparently, he had just shifted to his new flat in the morning, rushed to work...and had to endure the 3hours classroom after. By the time we finished class it was already 930pm, he was fumbling to call 'home' and i overheard him reporting his whereabouts to his fiancé (wooo hooo another french word) and that he is making his way back. I still feel sorry for him, i honestly do. M referred to him as a caged bird. I added; wet. Even if he's let out of the cage at times, i doubt he can fly at all. Such is life. Or in French, they say C'est La Vie.

Bonjour!

Today's the day i started my French class. After years of thinking if i should pick up Jap, Italiano etc. I guess partly because of work or the crowd, that I've decided on French...and thus, my next step to mastering another language (i hope!).

Although i may say its been quite a mind-numbing experience. And it's only my first lesson. Having to go through a 3hour classroom after work is not an easy task. Though my french-canadian teacher has been more than accommodating, having conducted the class in a more fun learning experience...but i guess the its the participation that sucks the juice out of most of us.

Today i learn how to say "Bonjour, Je m'apelle Joey", "Jeus Suis Malaisien".
The R is the killer...i almost choke myself with my saliva while practising on the way home. Then there's the count from 1-29...ahhh i would very much like to continue counting but i really lack the mental capacity to do that right now. I guess i should call it an early night and dream about something totally unnecessary. Too bad I didn't learn how to say Good Nite...perhaps some other nights.

Monopoly

I had my rain check birthday lunch with Kev yesterday, after a sumptuous jap at Esplanade we talked about how life used to be when we were young. I told him about the story of Land and the Farmer, and how i wondered humans are so ungrateful most of the time; and he relayed to me a very familiar story of our growing up time.

We weren't from a rich family but i'd say our parents earn enough to bring us up without us having to go through much of painful child labour. When we were young, my mother did not have the luxury to buy us toys whenever we asked for...i think from the very beginning, we know our limits and we hardly even ask for anything. You get toys when adults get you, you dont ask for it. Simple as that.

There's this particular box of Monopoly, my mother kept it on the top shelf of her wardrobe. She would occasionally brought it out for us to play when we did something good or on special occasions. Yeah, it was just a box of Monopoly. It wasnt those in cheap A6 size box where the board was made of paper and you can fold it 4-6times. This box of monopoly would have cost quite a sum back then. Nice cardboard with everything neatly printed. We would always treasure the time when we get to lay our hands on the dice and touch the soft-printed paper money. If the box were given to us right from the beginning, we probably wouldnt treasure it as much anymore...and it would probably get really dirty and most likely we would have gone bored of it after a week or two.

Such is the way of life...when you get to have something so easily; without much effort or sacrifice...we would grow tired of it very quickly too...so play hard to get when you can, for life is just another game of Monopoly.

The Farmer and the Land

A friend of mine recently relate to me a particularly intruguing
story. Of a Farmer and a Land.

Once upon a time, there is a piece of Land. Perhaps during its glorier
days have been pretty captivating.
But as time moves on, the Land began to dry...and the number of
farmers interested in this piece of land has decreased dramatically.
There is one particular Farmer though, for few years have not given up
on this piece of land. This Farmer nurtured the land whenever a chance
is given.
The Land knew the Farmer was interested and keen to acquire it to
start a garden or perhaps grow it into a potato farm, with lotsa small
potatoes.
But the Land being the choosy one chose to keep that Farmer at bay and
rather let no one tend to it instead. Years gone by, not a single new
and potential farmer show up...and the Land grew wearier as it began
to dry up. The price of the Land has dropped significantly. Bidders
were few or none. Except for the particular Farmer who still bid the
Land at its once peak price. In the end, the Land finally accepted
that bid. I would believe the Farmer would have been the most happiest
person. Finally the bid has won the Farmer its prized Land. But will
the prized Land be worth the same land it used to be back then? And
will the Land still be satisfied with the bid price...and produce the
Farmer with equal quality of flowers and potatoes? Will the Farmer be
forever happy although knowing that it is not the Land's first choice
but rather no-choice?
Life is mostly about demand and supply, but in this case...life is
just fascinating! Stay tuned for the next boring episode of the Farmer
and its mundane piece of Land.

Caffeine Junkie

All my life...from the moment i started drinking till this day, i have never consume more than 3 cups of gourment coffee per day.
But on this day of my 32nd anniversary i took up a challenge to down 4 in 4 hours. Thats a simple math of 1 cup / hour!
Although i do not need to fork out a single cent, it is not the monetary value that i worry about. What lies ahead...is frightening.
Machiato, Latte, Mocha and Cappucino. The cocktail mixologist in me were screaming when the challenge was thrown, i gulped it down and pressed on.
Its 1630, and i still have the Cappucino and about 1/4 of Mocha to go. I'm feeling rather sick already. I hope I wont throw up in office and make fool in front of my new colleagues.