Along the crooked line

Haven't been writing much of late, at times when i did...the posts never get posted. Most of them are still sitting in my draft and some i might have discarded them without a second thought. Too much have been going on lately. My mind wasn't as focused anymore. Not that it was much before, but i'm just trying to say that...things have gotten a lil bit unbalanced. Too much work, too much game...to little time left to think...to visualize. Haha...i guess that makes writing even harder.

Anyway, after my Friday break and the undisturbed weekend. I'm feeling alot better. A walk outside and dinner with some friends helped. And picking something nice to read helps too. Was browsing at the bookstore today in the terminal and picked up something nice. Something...different than my usual read. All this while, whenever i lose my cool on things, reading sorta help calm things down a lil. They say Tuesdays with Morris is an inspiration. I have not started flipping yet. It got my friend who doesnt read much hooked for an hour or more, i guess whatever they say might be true after all.

The one that got fried

I'll be out of wow and pretty much everything for the next week or so. Laptop's at service center. Same issue with my old one - mainboard's fried. Only this time, I'm slightly on the better side of luck, it's still under warranty. My last one had to sit in the corner of my room for the past 2 years till i sold it off to a junk shop for a mere 200RM recently. It's either laptops these days dont last that long, or it's probably just me and my heavy usage. Gonna dump 99$ into my 3rd year warranty after this. My best buddy for the coming weekend would be my long-abandoned psp, which i've recently spent 20$ getting it 'fixed' to allow unlimited 'gameplay'. Ohhh also my first 3 episodes of Friends on my iPhone. Gotta have to 'manage' them wisely. :)

It's all in the books

As the world spirals into a chaotic twist of financial turmoil...the people fumbles upon their feet as they scratch on the floor, digging through dirt for a hope to strike gold. In any given institution, this is the time when you need to justify your very own existence. Resources have been thin, budgets were slashed. People in need to find reasons to keep them at their desks. At this time, courtesy will not put food on your table.

Lately, a pattern is beginning to emerge...it's either you don't do or you do it with a price. I observed a few, in their desperate move to secure a deal...even for a simple request which would take half day at most; they would lashed out to their requester with a knife and ask them to pay for that small effort.
Though some of them may not deserve the sympathy, there are truly some that are helpless beyond measure. Their departments have been sucked dry, they are out funds and they are now begging at your doorsteps, hoping that you would do them a small favor. Yet, the plea goes unanswered.

As i sink myself into the situation, I'm preparing for the many more wonderful episodes to come...this is gonna be a long season.

Lonely On Valentine's Eve

I've been trying to lay low for the occasion. Being 'single' on such a day isn't something that you would wanna blared about. The more subtle it is, the better. Anyhow, it is just a day. And it's even better if it's on the weekend, you can just pretend that you have never existed at all. Hide away from the world and you can live through another day without having to face the cruel fact that you are actually...less than a couple.

...or at least, that would be ideal thing to do. But life is not always ideal...

It is work again that pulled me out from my hiding. I'd rather be caught hanging out with my bachelor friends on this day, than to be seen walking around in office. Though those that get to see me in office probably aren't in any better situation either...still, it doesn't feel that right.

I never really talked much about work on here before...only until this particular one. My last few posts have been all about it.
Like the ad says Your Calling is Calling , i think i can hear mine already.
Happy Valentine's.

The Story of Ah BAN

Once there was a man named Ah Ban. He was a simple-minded, happy-go-lucky guy. Never having to worry about his life. His day job was simple. Starts at 9. Ends at 6 or 7 every evening. During the day, he just perform whatever that he was told. From 1 to 10, A to Z...all will be detailed down for him to the last tiny bit of instruction. With his single-minded nature, he would not be able to spot a missing step or if the instruction was indeed correct. He follows a simple life philosophy - if the instruction is wrong, so will be the outcome.

Days went by, and Ah Ban at times would grow frustrated over his small existance at his work place. He would throw some short tantrums and continues doing nothing. Or refuse to accept any work being assigned to him. But usually by the next day, he'll turn out to be ok again. And that went on for 3 long years. People around him have either gave up on him or just use him for running some simple errands that would require anybody with a good pair of arms and legs. He might be simple, but he ain't stupid. He knows...but he couldn't care less either.

Today, he finally digged up some courage. He told the world that he is going to leave. A new ship is willing to take him on board and he's determined to set off to a new land with a new start. Let's hope he would end up being a captain someday and not sweeping the deck again.

Judgements

For one, i've heard alot of stories about how 'female'(even if you're a female) someone can be if you have the slightest intention to watch the recent Sex and the City show. I was abit skeptical at first. One fine day, i found it on someone's harddisk and thought i'd quietly copy that out and watch them during one of my 'quiet' nites and never tell a soul. Turns out...this show, if you are able to look deeper...below all the shinies, you'll find a really good storyline. Story about friends and love and all the things that's happening in our real, daily life. I'm gonna have to learn to be more ignorant & less typical. A new year's resolution, if its not already too late.

Next, i have an old friend which i've known for years. Recently, maybe due to the changes in one's life. Character may become...mmmm...annoying. Babbling away everyday and night about the stuff one's wanting to do. I was trying to be supportive mostly, but i ran out of fuel after 2-3weeks. When the same thing happen couple of days ago, i was really at lost of words. I dont feel like repeating myself anymore. I'm just tired. I felt like an awful friend. Times like this, i should have put in more effort and be more considerate. But i dont want to be pretentious at the same time. What could be worse than faking in front of your old friend? Perhaps, i should make it a point to learn...how to deal with such situation, gracefully.

On third, well...its finally some happy news...i'm goin back home tonight...wooohooooooooooooo! Something which i have been waiting for, for a while. Hopefully with the new year and all the earthly good things to come...i'll feel alot different when i get back to work in Feb.

till the next lunar year...adios.

What are we?

Working in such an environment, day in day out...you see People. All sorts of people.

Some would sniffle around, like old dogs with an alert nose...they can pick your stench from far away. They can tell if you're gonna make it big someday or if you'll just waste 20 years here and still sitting at your old cubicle. You can see their eyes shine when they look you in the eyes, words that comes out from their droopy lips are usually fake-sounding. They smile and get really friendly with you. But deep down inside, only a very minor percentage are sincere.

Some just sit there the whole day, doing their stuff...afraid to comment about anything, thinking they would lose their job if they dare to part those lips. These...are usually those people that have been sitting in the same cubicle for the past 20 years. Those that dont make it. But at least, they get to keep their jobs till today. And it's probably a wise thing to do. Occasionally, they would roll eyes up while keeping their heads down whenever there are people talking. But they will still remain quiet. Deep down inside, i'm pretty sure they have got things to say...but reality bites them the hardest. Most of them have a few smaller mouths they have to feed back home. Who could blame them?

Others belong to the reptile category. These are spineless thieves that we should all be very careful not to trifle with. Whenever they catch a glimpse of victory, they will come marching in with their best outfit and most resounding shouts. Whenever there's a puddle of poo, they would also be the first to high-tail out of the scene, leaving no trace of their existence. Clever and smart-witted snakes. Some can be poisonous too though most are toothless, only good at the ancient art of tai-chi.

What i've become...? I am slowly falling into one of the above. For i fear, i no longer have the will nor the energy to resist. The dark side has taken hold of my soul. I think i'm gonna rot in the bottomless pit and never find redemption.